An American In a Strange Town

(Daniel, looking dapper at the U.N. General Assembly)

Daniel Ortega, would you kindly take a minute out of your hectic, important schedule of denouncing U.S. hegemony, and please follow through with your campaign promise of cheaper Venezuelan gas and a solution for the energy crisis.

Today, my comrade, you officially jumped the shark. The Axis of Idiocy (N.Korea, Iran, Venezuela, et al) welcomes you with open arms and closed societies. Like Rosita said, alluding to gas rationing and power outages, ‘it’s the 80s all over again…..all that we’re missing now is the war’.

Technorati Tags: Nicaragua, Iran, U.N., Daniel Ortega, hegemony, New York

Luckily we have two….one is even equipped with an infant seat. I’m even well stocked on beer and rum….the essentials.

Yes, El Nuevo Diario reports there is a gas shortage in Nicaragua. The other shoe has officially dropped, so to speak. Resulting from illegal state confiscation of Esso facilities, many gasolineras are running out of that Texas tea that made Jed Clampett a rich man. Thanks Daniel. Thanks Hugo. I knew that FSLN promises of cheap Venezuelan gas would benefit the economy here (eyes rolling).

So, I’ll be sauntering out in the blistering sun soon to score a bag of milk and some tortillas, unless Esso brings their toys back and decides to play ball with this cheating government. I hope they don’t. It would only legitimize the corruption and lies that are endemic to this place. Oh well, at least my tank is already full……and I could use the exercise.

On the bright side, misery loves company, and I hear they are rationing in Iran as well.

Technorati Tags: Nicaragua, Managua, Iran, Hugo Chavez, Daniel Ortega, Esso

I don’t really have the energy to get too much into this issue, as it’s actually quite old news, but suffice it to say that Esso is angry with Daniel. Perhaps you’ve seen it on the news….Daniel wants the big, rich chele petroleum company to play ball by his rules….they didn’t….so, he accuses them of not paying some ‘tax’, and illegally seizes their storage facilities….End of story.

So….there you have it. The nuts and bolts of the above political cartoon pretty much sums this up quite well…..In case you’re interested, chantaje means blackmail…..

Technorati Tags: Nicaragua, Esso, Petroleum, Daniel Ortega, Chele,

Arise! Rise Up Poor People of the World!! Rise up and crush the Yankee Imperialists……Ahem…..Just be sure to leave my personal Mercedes collection intact.

-Daniel Ortega

Technorati Tags: Managua, Nicaragua, Daniel Ortega, Sandinista, FSLN, Yankee, Imperialist

Nicaragua has re-established diplomatic relations with North Korea, reports El Nuevo Diario. Next thing you know, they’ll be importing Pyongyang’s technological know-how to help feed the poor in Managua.

Here’s an alarming article that I ran across that kind of deals with this issue. In fairness, I don’t buy into the thesis necessarily, as Ortega is probably just thumbing his nose at the American imperialist pigs in an attempt to placate Chavez.

We can all rest a little easier tonight no doubt….

Technorati Tags: Managua, Nicaragua, Pyongyang, North Korea, Chavez, Ortega

(Nicaraguan Demoncracy in Action)

Well folks, it’s almost official. Our 1 year sentence….um, I mean anniversary, is coming up later this month. It’s an exciting time. Yes, time is the catch word.

Time to reflect upon the past, present, and future. August 2007 is a crossroads of sorts for me and my family. Managua has been good to us. We came here as a family of three, and we’ll leave a family of five…..with a newborn baby and a yellow Lab puppy bought on the side of Masaya highway. My personal caravan of travelers has grown exponentially. So, as we wind down our time here in Central America, let me indulge you with one of my most memorable moments in Nicargua…

In November 2006, I worked with OAS (Organization of American States) as an election observer for the 2006 Nicaraguan Presidential Elections. I traveled to the Honduran-Nicaraguan border, observing in the Madriz district, a rural mountainous region of Sandinista support, covering the towns of Somoto, Yalaguina, Totogalpa, Palacaguina, and Telepaneca. You know, I was in one of those areas that only gets about one sentence in the guide books. I’ll have you know, the most significant thing that comes from this region is a doughnut shaped cornmeal cookie that Nicas eat for breakfast.Of note, I traveled around from various polling stations, taking note of irregularities and whatnot….hanging Nica chads and all.

(Somoto’s Claim to Fame….Las Rosquillas)

It would prove to be one of the longest days of my life. Here are some notes that I took from that day… Read more…

(Give Peace A Chance….Nicaraguan President Daniel Ortega with Iranian Energy Minister Hamid Chitchian)

It makes sense. Two countries with so much in common, culturally and geographically speaking (insert sarcasm)….It makes perfect sense, as this is the ‘other shoe dropping’, so to speak, after then president-elect Daniel Ortega announced in January the “hope that his country would benefit from Iran’s invaluable experiences in cultural issues, environment protection and combat against air pollution”.

Alas, they’re here, a high level delegation (including Energy Minister Hamid Chitchian) from Tehran is currently in town, as we speak, providing cultural guidance, establishing environmental norms that would make the Europeans proud, all the while, fighting global yankee hegemony. This much we do know. Our Persian buddies are negotiating the construction of a thermal power plant right here in good ole Nicaragua, as well as building an Atlantic seaport. You see, it’s a wonder I can even post my little blog as often as I do, as the power grid in Managua is so woefully inadequate, you are up the creek without a backup generator.

For the record, it is unclear what Iran will receive in return for the $100+ million dollar power plant, financial support for a $350 million dollar deep-water Carribean seaport, tractors, milk processing plants, and 10,000 new homes? Bananas, coffee, and meat? Wow, who’s getting the screw job on this deal?! Perhaps they should throw in a couple cases of Flor de Caña Centenario!….Oh, that’s right…Silly me, I forgot, they don’t drink. You see, I was so wrapped up with the idea of how culturally similar Iranians and Nicas are. It didn’t dawn on me that the Persians didn’t imbibe with the occasional Rum and coke!?

So….we have an energy crisis in Nicaragua. This is nothing new. In fact, Daniel and his Sandinista buddies promised that the blackouts would cease once he took power. Actually, the opposite has happened. The situation has worsened considerably. We’ll have to wait and see if Iran can provide answers. If history is our guide, I wouldn’t hold your breath. This perverted little ‘axis of idiocy’ (Managua-Caracas-Tehran) has an unproven track record.

Consider…..last year, Chavez promised a petrol subsidy of sorts to his Sandinista friends, as a sort of political way of saying ‘thanks for your support’. There was a buzz on the streets about cheaper gas at the pumps. Indeed, it was part of the Sandinistan platform. Vote for us, and you will have cheaper gas. So….8 months on, what has happened? Gas is much more expensive, even at the government-owned Petronic stations. So, what gives? …..well, I don’t want to speculate, so I’ll let you figure that one out, but suffice it to say, somewhere along the way, the savings didn’t make it to the consumer.

Perhaps the other link in the ‘axis of idiocy’ can make good. Who knows? Maybe it was ‘opposite day’ when the Daniel promised to end blackouts and lower the price at the pump?

Technorati Tags: Managua, Nicaragua, Iran, Tehran, Axis of Idiocy,   Sandinista, Flor De Caña

On this date in 1979, the Sandinista Revolution that toppled Somoza was complete. Here’s a clip from that day 28 years ago…..

And, last December….They’re baaaaack! This time, it was with music and corny slogans, not guns. That’s progress I suppose…

So, today I will quietly celebrate the greatness of FSLN by eating cheeseburgers, spending my time with family, and watching MLB baseball on pirated American television. VIVA LOS YANQUIS!!

Technorati Tags: Sandinista, revolution, Daniel Ortega, Nicaragua, FSLN,

(above: Sandinista (FSLN) supporters ‘drinking the Kool-Aid’) 

This is the philosophy of law in Nicaragua. Never has this been more evident than in my recent dealings with hired help.

Earlier, on my other blog, I wrote extensively about our relationship with our nanny. For those of you that need a primer, let me just say, I’ve been ‘had’. I wrote earlier a sad story about our nanny getting robbed by four young men at a bus station, and how the system fails people like her.

Turns out, the system failed me. Shortly after this ‘robbing’, this nanny contracted a case of dengue fever (lie), had a sick aunt (lie), and was ’summoned to the bank’ (lie), all in attempts to shirk responsibilities. So, doubts began to creep into our minds about the supposed mugging as well. Why would she do this?

Keep in mind, that as foreigners, we treat our employees like human beings, pay them well over the national average, and demand far less work than the majority of people in this country. At any rate, on Friday, after I refused to let her go to the bank at 7am on Saturday (the bank wasn’t even open!), she exploded, accusing my wife and I of being ‘mean Americans’. An argument ensued, and we had to let her go. She almost seemed happy when I was firing her, looking like the ‘cat that ate the canary’. Read more…